So our little darling, Zoey, is almost 13 weeks old. I'd like to think we're pretty good parents. We give her lots of love, play with her, feed her, change her...all the stuff you're supposed to do.
When she was born, we weren't able to nurse, so we're formula feeding. That was controversy #1. She started showing signs of acid reflux around 2 weeks, and our FNP confirmed it officially at 4 weeks. Poor Zoey was projectile vomiting everything she ate. Our FNP (who is totally awesome, by the way) suggested we thicken Zoey's formula with a bit of rice cereal to help it stay down. That was controversy #2.
Holy cow. People came out of the woodwork to say what a horrible idea it was to add rice to her formula. We trust our FNP, though, and we tried it, and sure enough, Zoey's constant vomiting ceased. The special formulas they sell for acid reflux are...wait for it...thickened with rice. I guess in many years past, doctors would suggest thickening formula to help "Fill up" a baby so he/she would sleep through the night. That turned out to be bunk, so doctors stopped recommending it. Thickening formula with rice to help with reflux, though, is a perfectly valid remedy that involves no medicine and is very affordable. But when we told folks that we were adding rice cereal to her formula, some reacted like we were feeding her broken glass! Sheesh. Zoey was happier than she had ever been, and feeding stopped being such a nightmare for all 3 of us.
Controversy #3 was my decision to cloth diaper. Perhaps that should have been controversy #1, since it started before Zoey was even born! People said I was nuts to use cloth and tried to talk me out of it. We currently use a mix of both cloth and disposables. I totally agree that disposables are easy, and I prefer them when we're out and about. But I really like my cloth diapers at home. I'm not adding to landfills, they're cheaper, and they're really cute. Laundering them isn't hard. The only difference between washing a load of diapers and regular laundry is I do a rinse cycle first, then wash them with an extra rinse cycle at the end to make sure all the soap is out.
Controversy #4 was our decision to move her to her own bedroom at about 6 weeks. It has been a great decision for all 3 of us, though. We all sleep better! We still have her cradle in our room, so if she has a fussy night, or we just want her nearby, she can still sleep there.
Who would have thought that being a parent and doing what's best for your family would cause such an uproar? There have been other controversial things, too...like using a pacifier or dressing my daughter in blue (I had a woman in the store argue with me that Zoey couldn't be a girl because she was in a blue and red onesie. Sheesh.). I'm quickly learning to just do what's best for us, and ignore the rest!
And I'm getting criticism for doing the opposite on most of these issues. I am breastfeeding, and I keep being told that my 6.5 month old daughter is too old to be breastfed, and I should switch her to formula now.
ReplyDeleteI followed the current feeding guidelines and waited until 6 months to introduce foods other than breast milk. I was constantly told from 4 months on that I should be starting her on rice cereal. Then I started her on veggies and fruits and still haven't given her cereal. Oh, and I'm making all her baby food at home, so therefore, it's not "real" baby food. What?
I haven't had any criticism for doing the cloth diaper thing, but so many mothers make comments about how much time it must take to do that. It's literally one load of laundry a week and rinsing the soiled diapers. Not that much more effort. I think if more people actually tried it, they'd make the shift.
And, I'm constantly being told how my daughter should be in her own room. She was sleeping in a bassinet beside my bed but has been having significant night-time separation anxiety to the extent that if I am not in physical contact with her, she wakes up crying. Supposedly, the cure for this is to put her in her crib across the hall. I'm letting her sleep in my bed. She sleeps much better and wakes me much less. It's also much easier for night-time feedings.
The bottom line is no matter what you do as a parent there will always be people who tell you you're wrong and should be doing things differently. If you and your child are happy and healthy, what you're doing isn't wrong. No one else has the experience of raising or being your child. What works well for one child or one parent isn't going to work for everyone else.